Friday 4 June 2010

Ashes to Ashes – Exhibits E – G and Summing up

Scene of crime: BBC One

Defendants:


Executive producers Ashley Pharaoh, Matthew Graham, Simon Crawford Collins, Jane Featherstone, Alison Jackson.

Case for the defence:

Ashes to Ashes finally ends after three series of supposedly-1980s action (mainly a bit of eyeliner and rolled up denim jackets). This time the final three episodes are condensed into one submission of evidence and the final sentence is given. As always, Mega City Judges will pull no punches (Tharg note: this means spoiler alert).



Witness statements:

"It seems that Hunt's been dead all along, I think. To be honest I'm not totally sure what's going on.... Did the people behind A2A know all this when they started, or are they just tying together all the loose ends together now, in a big old knot?" - Sam Wollaston, the Guardian
"Anyway, the question is: did the final episode deliver on its promises? Yes, absolutely, and with the impact of a punch in the gut from Hunt.
Whatever you may feel about Ashes to Ashes -- and it surely went on too long -- this was a cracking, supremely clever closing chapter, every bit as gripping and ingenious as the finale of Life On Mars." Pat Stacey, The Herald

Findings:

The last three exhibits have been submitted as one, which makes summing up the series nice and simple. I like things simple, leaves me more time to spend on the streets cleaning it of perps. Even fining someone for littering gives me more pleasure than this secondment to the Cultural Unit. But if the Chief Judge says you gotta go, you gotta go. Just you perps know that when I am back on the street I'll be itchier than ever to dish out some proper justice.

Justice, huh, what did our predecessors, the police, do before the judges brought law and order? Not much if Ashes to Ashes is anything to go by.

First there's Exhibit E, where a prison riot leads to the prisoners holding Gene Hunt's officers hostage. Guess that riot foam wasn't invented then so they couldn't subdue the prisoners that way, but looks like 1980s CCTV quality was much better than the history books suggest. And why Gene Hunt thought he could lead his men in I don't know, I'd have busted him down to rookie before you could say 'Judge Cal'.

Pc Viv took a shoot in a by-the-numbers script - foreshadow that something's wrong with him but is ignored, reveal that he's a traitor, give a speech on his motivations, colleagues who disown him, and a token bit of sacrificial action by Viv to redeem himself. I've seen that so many times we study it at the Academy. Guess Viv didn't.

The only saving grace is that Ray now appears to have a personality, but the downside was a heavy dose of Sam Tyler references, which only served to highlight how unlikable Alex Drake is and how badly done Ashes to Ashes is. It also showed how little real-world, beyond the coma interaction there is, but more on that later. Of course character development can be forgotten – I notice no one has mentioned Chris' little brush with the dark side in the last series.

Perhaps it's best that the past is forgotten lest we get the 'romance' we saw between Alex and Gene; prominent in the first series. But like the zombies from Judgment Day, the two have their dead romance rise from the grave. And like Judgment Day, they're all dead. Yes, that's the secret behind both Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes. Do I need to go on...? Okay, the Chief Judge says I do. Well then.

Despite the inconsistencies – why Ray and Chris 'channelled' the real world in Life on Mars at times, why they don't remember dying (or deduce it, they're no Judges but they are detectives for grud's sake), or that they too had been back in time despite their mocking of Sam Tyler, it at least fitted into the third series of Ashes to Ashes.

Gene and Alex finally kiss, after a meandering build up to it in the penultimate episode, and she says goodbye after the Magical Negro Nelson guides them to heaven. An AD2010 pub. With the devil as a long streak of Mega City Law H756 Section 35 (public urination, prevention of). Grud no wonder we banned religion back in 2078 if this is what you were expected to believe in.

It takes a lot to move a Judge to emotion. There wasn't a lot, even in this final episode, but enough for some.

Verdict & sentence:

Up until the final episode execution was being mulled over. However, how can you kill something that's already dead? Trust me, we've tried before and it ain't pretty.

The final episode, though it made a hash of Life on Mars, did tie in with the final series. Ashley Pharaoh, Matthew Graham, Simon Crawford Collins, Jane Featherstone, Alison Jackson - Justice is not a harsh mistress, execution is commuted, I'm gonna be lenient and you only get 25 years in the isolation cubes. Add a year in solitary for not playing Bowie's Ashes to Ashes. You don't have to thank me.

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